I woke up a couple Saturdays ago with the words "Practice Resurrection" already there- in my mind as if waiting for me to wake to consider them. This kind of thing has never happened to me before so it got my attention.
While I love the idea of resurrections with all of their inspiring potential and implied perseverance, considering practicing resurrection lead me to an obvious yet surprising conclusion: in order for one to practice resurrection (bringing something back to life or back into one's awareness), things have to have gone a little sideways...like there is usually a death of something.
I'm using the word death in broadest sense, to include all types of endings including the death of ideas or dreams, the end of a project/relationship/life/era, and any kind of failure or brokenness that leads us to experience a feeling of loss.
Starting a business- especially a restaurant- has proved fertile ground for practicing resurrection. We have discovered and navigated what are at times sizable gaps between what we thought this would be like and what it actually is. Those discoveries have been delightful at times and, on occasion, devastating.
When things don’t go how we thought they would we can feel like we’re living a life not of our own choosing (aka feeling trapped or stuck). We can get a little testy when this happens. Some of us blame other people or things for our situation. Others, myself included, do something a bit more private: we beat the crap out of ourselves, aggressively and thoroughly.
I’ve come to believe that both behaviors are actually us scrambling to find an easy way out, to get to a familiar place that feels like higher ground, like we have some control in the matter. The downside is that blaming also keeps us from experiencing feelings of loss, fear or disappointment. This space of blame and doubt is sort of "safe" but it also means we have to operate on top of all that fear and disappointment. Yes, this is as tiring as it sounds.
As uncomfortable as endings can be, when we're willing to surrender and let go rather than struggle against them, we can discover some newfound space- room for something else to happen. Sometimes, reckoning with defeat even creates space for you to see that you’re losing at a game you didn’t want to play in the first place- grinding away at something you don’t even want.
Personally, we've discovered enough new space recently that Michael and I are writing from France where we are exploring a couple places that have long called to us (the Pyrenees and the Jura), meeting with a few winemakers we've long admired, and remembering who we are outside of our business.
As a business we've been letting go of the things that don't feel like they suit us anymore (our old website, the grill!), refining the bits we'd like to keep around, and determining what we will put in our newfound space...
Sasha's four basic steps for practicing resurrection:
- Experience a death or loss
- Feel your feelings about the deatl or loss
- Identify what you are actually grieving and name what you miss/want/want back*
*Know that you can’t actually go “back” to the way anything used to be. It’s over. If reading this knocks you out, maybe repeat Step 2.